I am dead.

I just logged onto my blogspot blog for the first time in a long while and it certainly takes me down the proverbial memory lane. It is funny to see myself so confident and full of arrogance. Arrogant about nothing at all. I had confidence in the ground below even when there was no ground (at least logically). My naivete was boundless and all constraints were unknown. Now the ground haunts me and logic pervades all. My childish exuberance seems to have faded. Am I jaded or just older? I guess time will reveal the answers to such questions. Nonetheless, this voyage into yesteryear has been interesting. I wish to return blogspot. It feels homey and familiar and legitimate, All of the all of which are characteristics that are severely lacking on my myspace blog. So blogspot blog, hello yet again. Let's be friends.

God didn't wanna be such a control freak....

I'll start with some observations on sin according to general Christian dogma. In Christianity turning the other cheek, being polite, and being kind are values held in high regard. Now personally, a slap in the face(both metaphorically and physically) is the best thing you can give someone. Embarassment and harsh criticism leads to great personal growth(as brutish as it sounds). Shame is the soil in which we harvest our pride. So being kind will only take you(and society) so far. People recieve way to much pity(anbd repentance) for being stupid in our society. So in Christianity, this weakness, this so called strength, is seen as being righteous. It's meek and unproductive.
As for other sins I can basically agree with the Christian dogma. Yeah it is bad to kill, so long as we want to retain a semblance of society stealing is bad. I can agree that adultery is bad, the purpose of life is to love and ask questions in that order. Adultery makes your monogamy and commitment meaningless. However, waiting for sex until marriage, that's kind of a joke. What is so evil about sex(I really want you to enlighten me on this)? We are made to have sex, we are anatomically outfitted to have sexual intercourse. What does marriage mean necassarily anyways, that you have a piece of paper that says, "Yup, you're married now you can fuck." Pardon my language. But honestly, sex can be a tool of emotional and spiritual communion, and it's not sinful. It can be meaningless, no doubt, which I find unappealing. But as I've stated(and will do again for the sake of redundancy), sex can be wholesome, fulfilling, and beautiful. Oh yes, and gratifying(hehehe). Additionally, waiting until marriage for the sake of pleasing God in the hopes of acheiving a great afterlife goes completely against the eternal return of the same. Live life like you mean it, what if there is NO afterlife, what if this is your one moment? What if there is no eternity?
Now for a closing thought and an arguement against the existence of God(although in the face of nihilism, all arguements are futile for our existence itself is a debatable topic). If God has a plan for us how can we have any free will. You're going to end up wherever the hell God decides to put you. So in the face of God all resistance is futile. You have no free will in light of God's "all knowingness." This, for me, is one of the greatest(although it is one of many) contradictions in the Bible(I hate capitalizing God and Bible). Another thing about god's all knowingness in relation to our being able to acheive anything through god. If I believe in Jesus Christ and the heavenly father anything is possible. What if the ONLY thing I want from god is for him not to know, for him to let me be Brendan Harrison(not Brendan Harrison a creation of god) for one second. All I want is for god to let me be alone for five minutes. Can God grant me my one wish......

Nowadays we call people like Moses, "Jim Jones."

Jesus Christ it's late. Even the cat is yawning, she looks at me through tired eyes....

I'M A BIG FAT RACIST....

Just playing. I'm not really racist, but I just took this test called the Implicit Association Test. It was designed by some big wigs at Harvard and it's supposed to measure what kind of tendencies lie deep with in your mind. Now these aren't the tendencies you exhibit necassarily, the professor who designed the Gender-Career test is a woman and her score favored men in the work place. The race test I took said I favor white people over black people but I'd like to think on a concious level that's not true. Here's a to the site:

Implicit Association Testing

Check it out and find out how much of a racist chauvanistic bastard you really are.

Peace.

Damn Y'all

Damn I wrote four(make that five now) blogs today. I'm crazy as a friggin loon. Crazy as I wanna be. Peace.

Meet your new best friend....Your metabolism.

I'm going to take this opportunity to dispel some of the myths out there and clarify somethings about your metabolism. This is what I'm going to for intergrative physiology and I'd like to think I read a fair amount of articles and journals related to fitness so I believe that my knowledge is at least semi-reputable. So here goes....

1.Eat- Eat damn it. So many people(especially women) go on calorie restricted diets. Bad move. The mechanisms in your body that stimulate your metabolism are activated when you eat. That's right. When you eat your body NEEDS to metabolize the energy(food) you're providing. So the best course of action is to eat 5-8 small meals. This will have your metabolism rarin' to go all day long. Also don't eat an hour before bedtime. This is when your body slows down.

2.Stop Eating Shit!-High fructose corn syrup, saturated fat, white sugars, white bread, processed foods. Not only are these things responsible for puttin' fat on your ass and not only do these things not promote your health. They can actually be harmful to your health by requiring your body to take from it's vitamin and mineral stores to metabolize this shit. Relevance to your metabolism, shitty food = fat on your ass.

3.Build Lean Muscle-Lean muscle is a huge fat burner so lift those weights. Ladies, don't be afraid of heavy resistance. This is something women promiscuously violate. I see so many women at the gym do 20lbs. on the cable row week after week. I just want to scream at them, "Wake up! That's not doing anything for you. You may as well just sit there and hold the attachment in your hand and just act like you're rowing." Ladies! 14-18 reps per set is still a lot of reps. So use weight that leaves you feeling spent after that many reps. This also relates to rule #1. On a restricted calorie diet you wont be up to par at the gym there by causing you to reap sub-par results.

4.Progressive Overload-This relates to rule #3. So I'll have to pick on the ladies again. Guys don't seem to have this problem as much. Nature ingrained us to progressively overload ourselves, which is probably why we end up in the hospital more often. The idea behind progressive overload is that every workout you should be lifting more weight or completing the same workout in less time. So if last workout you were able to cable row 40lbs. 14 reps next workout try 50lbs. 14reps. Once you start getting to truly undesirable weights change movements. So ladies for example, if you find your self cable rowing 100lbs. 17reps, change to a prone reverse fly with 30lbs done 14 reps. Once again picking out the women, there comes a point where you can cut out weights almost all together. You will have eventually built a substantial amount of lean muscle(you'll be a fat burning machine) and you can just switch to almost pure cardio. Then return to the weights in a few months.

5.Intensity-Probably one of the least understood training principles out there. But it is absolutely necessary in order to lean up and achieve some semblance of fitness. Intensity is basically how hard you are exerting yourself. Whether you're doing cardio or weights, at some time during your routine you should want to curse like a sailor. Foul language during exercise is a sign that things are goings as they should. Without intensity your attempts to build lean muscle and progressively overload yourself are futile.

6.Rest-Intensity's yang. Rest is necassary in order to prevent illness and maintain proper mental function. It's also necassary to keep your body's functions running right, including your metabolism. People who deprive themselves of sleep are more like to be obese.

7.Keep Alcohal To A Minimum- Your body burns practically zero fat while metabolizing alcohal. So keep drinking it to a minimum unless you want a beer belly(I know this is one of the harder principles).

I feel like I'm leaving something out but these are definetly the solid basics of putting your metabolism into over drive. Peace.

Bow Down Bitches....

Bow down kids, in praise of the greatest musical genius of our time. Right now you're probably like who is this crazy looking fool. It's Mike Patton, you'll most likely know him from Faith No More, a popular rock group from the mid nineties. You still probaly don't know who he is. But this man is the most versatile, talented, god given gift our generations music has had. Maybe that last statement was a bit over the top. Maybe it wasn't though. Seriously Mike Patton is like a musical stretch armstrong, he's all over the place. With Dillenger Escape Plan he sang crazy spastic hardcore vocals, with the Kaada & Patton project he sang like a fat Italian opera singer(punctuated by Patton-like spastic moments). The last Fantomas CD was a one song, 73min, theatrical, musical masterpiece. He just came out with a hip hop CD too. It's him and a three DJ team called the X-ecutioners. The CD is called "General Patton versus the X-ecutioners," it's hip hop mastery, it's musical mastery and it only helps strengthens the case for Mike Patton's genius. Patton produced, mixed, and mastered the CD on his own computer and any musical instrument that isn't a sample, he played. So everyone reading this blog should check out Mike Patton, I guarantee with the dozens of projects he's been involved in there's something you'll like. I'll try to provide a breakdown of some of the more popular projects, but this will probably be a futile attempt at describing the atypical tendencies of Patton:

-Faith No More: Straight up alternative rock(sort of, not really, I don't know what to say)
-Mr. Bungle
-Self Titled: Crazy carnival-esque craziness
-California: Beach Boys-esque perfection
-Disco Volante: Mr. Bungle's craziest, most spastic release.
-Dillenger Escape Plan w/Mike Patton: Crazy dissonant, hardcore
-Fantomas: The most visual and theatrical music on the face of the planet.
-Lovage:A collaboration project w/Dan The Automator(Deltron 3030, Handsome Boy Modeling School).
- General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners: Spastic hip hop. Perfect for those lucky enough to have ADD.
-Kaada & Patton: Beautiful. Patton's Kid A(Radiohead).

Well if I had a nickel for every time I wrote the word crazy in that list. That list is pretty worthless but it does give a vague idea. The main reason I wrote this blog is because I'm already way psyched for the Fantomas show on April 22nd(yes I know it's March 23rd). You can go to and try to be half as cool as me, it's at cervantes masterpiece ballroom. It'll roll your socks, blow your mind, and rock your world. The line up for that night is pretty intersting, opening is Trevor Dunn's Trio Convuslant(Avant Jazz), After Trevor Dunn it's the Locust(Spastic Ass Hardcore), Headlining is Fantomas(y'all know). So check out Mike Patton and expand your musical horizons. Peace.

The new Mars Volta CD is a piece of......

Well I just got the new Mars Volta CD, Frances the Mute, a little over a week ago and let me say this, "It's worthless!" It's completely unoriginal. Puff Daddy, I mean P. Diddy is more original. At least P Diddy just steals beats. After he steals a beat he puts his own lyrics an own idea on top of them. On this CD Mars Volta steals whole concepts and styles from other artists, namely Led Zeppelin. I could swear I bought "Frances the Mute" before, except for the first time I bought it it was called "Houses of the Holy." Bad Mars Volta, I liked you before you sucked and when you were still the band formely known as At the Drive In. I find it strange too that out of over two hundred reviews on amazon.com that this CD has such a rave review. It sucks. Flat out. The first song is good for about 40sec and that's about it. My advice to the lead singer of the Mars Volta, "Next time you decide to make an album, lock your self in a sound proof room. You're far too impressionable to hear an outside source of musical stimulation while you write." Another piece of advice for the Mars Volta, "Throw away any Led Zeppelin CD's you own, they're not doing you any favors." My advice to everyone else, "Buy this CD at your own risk."

Emotional Seppuku

Remember that night on the long ride home.

We spilled our guts on the side of the road.

And you clung to me as I hung on your every word.

And you learned everything that no one had ever heard.

The sky could of killed me that night, eaten me alive.

As I held you in my arms I thought that I could of died.

I'm indebted to you forever, you made me feel so free.

Just as a serf is to a lord, just as you are to me.

It's tragic, that moments like this must come to an end.

I could hide inside my memory and live it again and again.

But memory's like poison see, too much will kill your soul.

So I'll keep this memory close, for warmth when I am cold.

Brendan Munro Harrison

My estranged relationship with the G.O.D.

Writing this piece is kind of bizarre for me. Just last fall I was really into Christianity. I was reading the Bible like it was going out of style. I was by no means a perfect Christian but I did probably read my Bible more often than 85% of the church I was attending. Probably more than 85% of the Christian population. But lately I've been having some qualms with religion in general. Maybe I've been reading too much Nietzsche. I don't know, but religion in general become a kind of strange entity to me. Believing in something so passionately that you can't whole heartedly prove is kind of strange. I'm not just talking orthodox religion here. Aethiests are kind of strange too, aethieism is anti-religion religion. It's all religion, everyone's following a dogma. It's just so wierd, this whole I'm the right one thing. "Jesus is the Messiah," "No we're still awaiting our savior," "Go Shiva Go," "All praise Allah," "Hooray for Jim Jones," "There is no God." Everyone think's that they're right and they want to make sure everyone else knows that they're wrong. Christians say the only way to God is through Jesus. Muslims are willing to kill in the name of Allah. Actually Christians are willing to kill in the name of Jesus Christ, look at the crusades, look at our current president. He thinks he has a personal relationship God. Yeah right! I'm sure the advice he gets from God is like, "George go bomb those Iraqi's, I know there's countries like Sudan with actual genocide and more profound relations to the Taliban, but George you just gotta trust me on this one. I'm gonna ask you to lie a little too. You gotta say that they've got weapons of mass destruction. There aren't any. It's the only way anyone's gonna buy it though." Yeah I'm sure George W is God's favorite character, George W is spreading the word of God like it's fucking napalm. Last time I read the new testament I thought you were supposed to turn the other cheek. I guess when you're a super power looking to flex your muscles you just have to put the principles of the Bible on the back burner, but continue to spew moral majority bullshit. Wow that was a bit of a tangent. Back to my dilema. The basis for proving the existence of God is just as strong as the arguement against his/her/its existence. It's the most elementary question, "Does God exist?" It's three words, but it remains(and may always) impossible to adequately answer. Also how do people know that when their praying their really not just having a "divine" conversation with their frontal lobe. I might have to revoke that comment actually, I do believe in a God somewhere. Look at a sunset, how different we all are, the stars. I'd like to think there's a greater power at work in our universe. I"ll probably remain agnostic for now. It seems like the world would almost be better off if religious dogma didn't exist. It's like we live in a world that is torn apart by religion, religion just so happens to also be the glue that binds us together. So I don't know what I'm gonna do about this whole dilema. Maybe it's not a dilema at all, I figure as long as I continue to be a kind person God wont completely burn my ass. Until I figure out though, I'll just continue to bath in liquor and sex. Just playing I dont really like drinking very much ;).

Bach Rox

It was cool to go to the symphony and not just want to throw pennies. I used to go to the symphony with my elementary school, Shelton. That was back in fifth and sixth and when we used to go we'd just throw pennies and shoot staples out of mechanical pencil guns (Alyssa knows what I'm talking about). So now that I can appreciate music and would like to think I've matured, I really enjoyed Bach. I'm not to familiar with Bach, I'm partial to Beethoven's piano concerto's (they make me wish I started playing piano sometime around the second trimester), but still with no prior knowledge of Bach's greatness I was rocked. Well maybe I wasn't rocked, but there was a few times that I was close to floored. Just the melody and richness literally made me feel like I was in a meditative state. There's nothing like a five figure cello and violin harmonizing with the chords of your soul, that's just something special. I thought it was interesting how a lot of the time different sections would play completely different things but compliment and play off of each other beautifully. Also the quality of the sound was just tremendous, it put the nicest electronic sound systems to absolute shame. Nothing can possibly touch the rich wholeness of a handful of pricey instruments playing in an acoustically tuned theater. My only problem with the symphony was a little friend of mine call attention deficit disorder. Now I've never been clinically diagnosed with ADD and quite frankly I don't want to. I don't want some doctor prescribing me two kilos of adderall. That's something I can do without. But damn did my mind wander sometimes during that. I'd be like, "Damn, that lean cuisine pizza was surprisingly good, and it was only two bucks, hell yeah," or, "Wow, I really need to clean my car, I feel bad for Dustin having to move like two tons of books every morning." So ADD was a bit of a problem for me (looking back on the last like four sentences I think a doctor could make a clinical diagnosis). I noticed when I closed my eyes I could focus better, I wasn't sure if that was impolite though (comments welcome). So being a virgin to Bach, I'd have to say it was good (he was gentle too, which was nice) . I'd go on a second date for sure.

Bach represents the Baroque period through his use of intracacy and subtle touch. Unlike a Gregorian chant Bach's music has many layers to it. He has different sections playing different things and playing of eachother. There's climax and anti-climax and just a whole lot more imagery and emotion being evoked by Bach.

I now leave you with a Zen koan:
"If you were me you'd tell me everything."

Fra Filippo

Brendan Harrison
Survey
3/8/05

“From about 1440, however, his style changed direction, becoming more linear and preoccupied with decorative motifs - thin, fluttering draperies, brocades, etc. Lippi is associated particularly with paintings of the Virgin and Child.”
“A format he was among the first to use - a beautiful example, showing the wistful delicacy and exquisite pale lighting that characterizes his best works, is in the Pitti, Florence.”
“Fra Filippo began to fresco the enormous choir of the Cathedral of Prato in 1452 (after Fra Angelico had turned down the assignment).”
“Spite of his secular activities, Filippo's late works are infused with religious feeling and are far more lyrical than the early ones. The Nativities in Florence, in Berlin, and in Florence, as well as the Madonna and Child in Florence are examples.”
“Filippo Lippi was not dedicated to the study of nature firsthand; instead, he depended largely upon painted and sculptured prototypes, and his figures are often inorganic and unanatomical, rendered without an ultimate conviction for their three-dimensional presence.”
“Nor was Filippo deeply motivated by a desire to imitate antiquity; there are remarkably few paraphrases from ancient sculpture, and when isolated, they appear to have been achieved indirectly, filtered through Donatello or Luca della Robbia.”
“For the most part his painted architecture, the buildings he invented, cannot even vaguely be reconstructed.”

Merchant of Venice

Although I found myself confused at times I definetly enjoyed the Merchant of Venice. The whole Shakesperian comic tragedy was great, I loved it. Throughout the whole movie Shylok though he was movin' on up only to be dealt one crushing blow after another. What made the shit Shylok went through even shittier was that the whole time it was Christians screwing him over. Christians spitting on him, Christians taking his daughter, Christians making making him look a fool in court. If I was Shylok I'd move far away from the Christians into a predominantly Jewish area. I mean when your known as "the Jew" you might wanna' think about taking up residence in a different side of town. The emotions in that movie are just wonderful, everything from nearly crushing sadness, to laughter, to anger. I've never really gotten into Shakespere but I'd definitely say that this dangerously close to being a masterpiece. The ending was also terrific, with Shylok's daughter out on a marsh in front of a mansion looking at her Father's ring and her fahter in Venice being torn apart as he loses his religion. Whoever adapted this play to film did an awesome job; the cinematography, location, the prostitutes, the language. All of it was so well incorparated into this movie and helped make it feel real. Oh, back to the cinematogography for one more second, the scene at the end with Shylok's daughter at the marsh with the fisherman shooting their bows into the water and the sun rising. That was spectacular, I want to go that place when I dream. Also bravo to the Portia and her maid, for the alarmingly realistic five o'clock shadow.

Shit....The Spice of Life

Well, my girlfriend just got in a car accident and she is quite understanably shaken up and upset about it. Now, I've always known that with out dark you can't appreciate light, with out lows you can't appreciate the highs in life. But today this idea is more apparent and understanable than ever. Because with out car accidents, illness, death, and whole variety of things that make you feel like shit. Life would be a worthless mundane ordeal if it weren't for life's shitty moments.

Crack Cocaine For My Ears

.
Have you ever wanted to take music intravenously? I have. I've tried so hard to get the music on this CD on a spoon, but as to date I've had no success. So I've had to resort to listening to it a couple times a day, most every day. I'll usually give it one listen straight through and then throw it on random and just lose track of the time. What makes the Blood Brothers so great is that even though I listen to it incessantly, almost every listen I hear a new sonic nuance or production intricacy. On top of the meticulous production lies the fact that the Blood Brothers just fucking rock. They're melodic and harsh, dissonant and polished, angry and beautiful, complex and poppy; all at once. The Blood Brothers are pioneering a new frontier of music using music you've probably heard before. They're kind of like hard core meets punk meets indie rock meets Mozart caliber composition. Unlike a lot of other bands from these genres that are just hard core screaming crooners, the Blood Brothers are very strong lyrically:

Can you put the bite back the the beast you've broken, tied and tamed?
Can you crease the wrinkles back into the cracked and open brain?
So doctor won't you pull the fucking plug?
Won't you cut the cord?
Because you can't put the life back into this hospital ward.
She's gonna make it out ok...
but she's shaking like a revolution...
and she stares at the fire all day...
mumbling to herself...
" every hole has a snake in it...
Every crotch is a siamese gun,
every ray of sunshine hides a cancerous chime,
every breath is a bomb."
The Blood Brothers, Every Breath is a Bomb

On top of the fact that they are both compositionally and lyrically rock fucking solid, they also have an interesting arrangement due to the fact that they have two lead singers. Yeah, two singers going with different styles tag teaming and feeding off each other, it's sick. So if you're tired of what you're listening to right now or you just like checking out GOOD new music, then check out the Blood Brothers they don't disappoint. Here's a low down on the CD's I own from them:
-Crimes(new release): Less dissonant and more poppy than Burn Piano Island Burn, same genius though...
Burn Piano Island Burn: Dissonance at it's best, but still has a delicious pop undertone. Musical perfection......

Pilgrimages

It seems to me that first most popular form of the pilgrimage is of the religious sort. The first things that come to mind are the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca, the Jewish and Judeo Christian pilgrimage to the west wall, and that thing the Mormons are doing when they come bother me at my house. Well I myself happen to have had the pleasure of taking part in a religious pilgrimage while traveling with my school during my senior year(see:A whole hearted promotion of cancerous tobacco sticks, A long version of cancerous tobacco sticks, and an essay giving a general idea of sem) with this program called senior seminar at Golden High School. We took part in a Spanish-Catholic pilgrimage to Chimayo in New Mexico. Chimayo is a small town south of Taos and for a few days surrounding Easter Sunday each year it is completely packed with people clambering for a chance to spend a few moments inside a two hundred year old Spanish Church that is not much bigger than a two or three bedroom apartment. Our pilgrimage to Chimayo began about six miles away and was filled with sights of amazement as well as disgust. As for the amazement, the sheer number of people was tremendous, every truck bed that inched by was filled to capacity, there were people who were carrying full size crosses on their backs, and some of the people who make the pilgrimage literally walk for days to get there. As for being disgusted, there's a lot of people there who are there to exploit the number of people that are present. They sell all kinds of ridiculous religious paraphernalia to fatten up their own wallets. I know that nearly everyone's going through life trying to make a buck, but to show up at a religious event with profit on you mind just wrecks the purity for me. The pilgrimage to Chimayo perseveres over the corruption though, you know a few rotten eggs can't spoil the bunch. There are a lot of truly devout people with truly good intentions, and this is a place where south west culture thrives. Along the roadside the smell of fresh wrapped, hand made, tamales and jalapenos wafts through the air.
So why do people take such great lengths to get to Chimayo. Dirt. Yes, dirt. The story is that a friar saw light coming out of the hillside and so he began to dig where the light was coming from. Upon his digging he found a crucifix in the ground. On three different occasions they tried to take the cross to Santa Cruz but it would disappear only to be found in the dirt at Chimayo again. So that is why they built the church where they did and why there is a pilgrimage to get to Chimayo. So when you get to the El Santuario de Chimayó, the church itself, and you receive a little bag of dirt from the El Posito, the pit I guess. That's about it, then you go back to eating tamales. So the church itself for me was not that awe inspiring(I'm not a Catholic and the story sounds a bit cheesey, especially since its legacy began during a time when every Church wanted a gimmick) but the energy and atmosphere surrounding Chimayo is something that I will never forget. I also still have my little bag of dirt to help remind me.

The invisible blog

Welcome to my invisible blog. Well, nearly invisible. I have this problem where I think my own jokes are hilarious. I don't think that's a problem though, in my opinion I just have a good sense of humor, I laugh at my own jokes, other peoples jokes (even when other people aren't laughing(maybe it wasn't supposed to be funny)), and I think I posess an ability to make other people laugh. So where this blog and the comment about finding myself funny stem from is a luagh I was having with myself. I was thinking it would funny to write a blog where I just pressed enter a whole bunch of times so that it looked like I had written something and then writing like, "Well I guess that's it for now, Peace." Not so funny on paper. But whatever. Along with being hilarious I've noticed I'm quite forgetful. Take for instance this very moment. I'm getting ready to leave(I just got here thirty minutes ago) and I can't remember where my car is parked.All those years of smoking pot, I'm finally feeling the consequences of that.

I guess that's it for now, Peace

EVERYONE SHOULD BLOG MORE

EVERY ONE SHOULD BLOG MORE. IT'S FUN WHEN IDEAS START FYING AROUND AND PEOPLE ARE COMMENTING ALL THE TIME, COMPLEMENTING OR INSULTING YOU(ALL IN GOOD FUN). YOU CAN USE PROFANITY WHICH IS FUN. SEE LOOK, FUCK. IT'S FUN BECUASE I CAN SEE SOMEONE BEING LIKE, "WHOA, HE JUST SAID FUCK IN BIG RED LETTERS." YOU CAN ALSO MAKE FUN TITLE'S LIKE, "TEN REASONS WHY YOUR GOD DOESN'T EXIST," OR, "THE DAY I CHALLENGED BILL OWENS TO A FIST FIGHT." YOU CAN TALK ABOUT GIRLFRIENDS, MOVIES, MUSIC, ANYTHING!!! IF MORE PEOPLE STARTED BLOGGING I THINK IT WOULD HELP MAKE A MORE INTERACTIVE CLASSROOM. IT DEFINETELY HELPED IN ENG. 121. SO THINK ABOUT GIVING MY BIG RED LETTERED PLEA A FUCKING TRY(THAT WAS JUST FOR EFFECT, BUT IT WAS FUN WASN'T IT?)

Masochistic Monastics

So back in the religiously fanatic days of the middle ages the monks of the time we were extremely devoted. By extremely devoted, I mean stupid. What a terrible way to live your life. I mean from the time you enter the monastery to the day you die you don't say a damn thing(unless you're a cheating kind of monk). Imagine what the orientation into the monastery would of been like. I mean ASL(American Sign Language) hadn't been invented yet so I can only imagine that there was a whole lot of point and mmmming going on. Here goes my rendition of a new monk by shown around the monastery by an already established monk:

Old Monk:Mmmm, Mmmm (nods)

New Monk:Mmmm(nods)

Old monk:Mmm... Mmm, mmm, mmm(points down hallway)

New Monk: Mmmm(nods)

Old Monk: Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmm (puts up two fingers to represent 2:00am)

New Monk: MMMMM!?!?!?!!

Old Monk: Mmmm, mmmm(nods)

Well I think that gets the point across, I could go on to where the old monk tries to explains the rules of chastity, and poverty but we might be looking at a short novel at that point due to their inadequate communication skills. I'm personally playing the role of a monk somewhat in my own life however, for I'm somewhat impoverished. As for the chasity though, that's really not for me. It shouldn't really be for anyone, especially guys, because if you're chaste, you're looking to get pulled over speeding down impotence road(use it or lose it). Wow, sorry to be so graphic, I think my mind has been in the gutter lately. Maybe I could use a little monk style masochism, I could cane myself whenever I had impure thoughts. No I'm not going to that. I think I need to stop writing right now, this is the most senseless, tangent filled piece of writing I have ever had. So let me sum up a bit since the prior writing most likely makes little or no sense. Our day at the monastery was interesting, it was quite funny to see Liz and Amy dressed up as monks and acting so serious. Walking meditation was probably quite a site for the rest of the campus. It was a task to try to communicate with my group since we couldn't talk but it made for a good laugh. Finally, I don't understand monks, who would embark on such an endeavor, I guess a masochistic monastic. Yeah!